Nice Try

The local minister had tried for some time to get a church member to give up drinking and smoking.  The minister did his homework and thought he finally had the answer.  He would approach the church member with logic and the financial angle to get him to quit smoking and drinking.  That evening he met the man at his home.

 “Hello Bob!” “Hello reverend.” “Bob, I wanted to try one more time to help you to end your destructive ways.  Bob, how many packs of cigarettes do you smoke a day?”  “Oh about 3.” Replied Bob.  “Ok and how much alcohol do you drink a day?”  “Oh about 8 beers and a fifth of whisky reverend.” 

“Well Bob I did some calculations and did you know that if you took all that money you spend on cigarettes and booze every day and saved that money instead, why you could be driving a fancy new car and live and a fine mansion out on the upper West side of town!”

“Well reverend, do you smoke?”  “No Bob I don’t.”  “Ok then reverend do you drink alcohol?”  “No Bob, I never have.”  “Well then reverend, where is your fancy new car and your mansion?”